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The hardest part about online dating... finding someone who clicks with you.
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Mom photographs her daughter with animals in beautiful 12-year project
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My mum was killed by cancer... wait no, my dad was a sagittarius.
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I like my jokes like my coffee bland
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Nothing says i have faith in god like the bullet proof glass on the pope's car.
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Real-life robots that will one day enslave humanity, ranked
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Inside the 2016 fight for the white working class
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How do you organize a space party? you planet ;)
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Daniel craig and rachel weisz expecting first child together
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The most silent voice is the one that yells the loudest: unearthing the spirit within
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Darling, you are the most beautiful woman in this party! did you invite these guests on purpose?
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Fifth harmony's lauren jauregui could be amy winehouse's clone
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The queen doesn't like prince harry's beard -- go figure
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Why did the knight stop using the internet? because he was sick of chainmail.
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You're the shampoo in the eyes of my life.
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The giant panda is no longer listed as endangered
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The world seems to only care about refugees when they're olympians
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Meditation made simple: learn how to step back with headspace
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Before twitter, celebrities used to sit dead for months and months completely unnoticed.
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Why do so few americans actually observe memorial day?
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Four mexicans drowned over the weekend newspaper headline: quatro sinko
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I always thought, hey, at least air is free ...until i bought a bag of chips.
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How many kids with add does it take to change a lightbulb? wanna go ride bikes?!?
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Exercise could improve brain functioning among people with hiv
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#deardebbie, millennial women aren't 'complacent' about reproductive rights
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Baltimore quietly removed all 4 of its confederate statues overnight
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Darren aronofsky's new tv series breaks with the hollywood playbook on climate change
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I always wanted to be self-confident. well, look at me now. actually, don't.
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My girlfriend has a fire crotch. or as it's scientifically known, chlamydia.
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Why are gay guys so good at moving? they are used to getting their shit packed
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What do you call a rich frog? a gold-blooded reptile.
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Craft of the day: create a clay catch-all plate for your keys
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Mark zuckerberg and priscilla chan announce birth of a girl with open letter
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Some of your timelines are my morning paper.
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Forgiveness: the perfect gift any day of the year
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How to seduce a fat person? piece of cake
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I hope rapidly clicking this arrow on google street view counts as jogging.
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Vergara v. california decision: teacher tenure is not the problem
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Went to the doctor's office for my flu shot. he promised it wouldn't hurt... insensitive prick.
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Have you ever smelled mothballs? how did you get their little legs apart?
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I ruin friend groups by always suggesting we start a band too early
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What do you call an operation on a rabbit? a hare-cut.
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Your favorite 'zootopia' bunny takes on an elephant-sized case in this cute deleted scene
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Budget airlines' new routes lead to urbanization in asia
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Congress expected to vote on budget to avert government shutdown
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Don't forget about bald guys living vicariously through their beards.
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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip. to get to the same side.
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Bill maher explains the fiscal cliff, calls for carbon tax
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Here's a bit of advice for you. advi.
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What did the counselor say to the hologram? you're projecting. (from star trek voyager)
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69 is the kamikaze of sex. if i'm going down, you're coming with me.
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What is dracula's favorite pudding? leeches and scream.
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Search underway for missing tennessee toddler noah chamberlin
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Jane fonda and helen mirren stole the show at paris fashion week
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What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter? thank you for your patients.
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I'm a lawyer for an orthodontist he's got me on retainer.
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Did you hear about the birds who wanted to go out drinking? they ended up at the crowbar.
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I'm sorry i can't go out tonight because of the internet.
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I'm no gynecologist... but i can take a look.
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Mom uses face-painting skills to turn kids into 'something magical'
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It's gotta be nice being a mortician... people are always dying to meet you.
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What do you call a chicken at the north pole? lost.
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Rating all the nancy drew books i've read on goodreads so it looks like i'm smart or something.
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Watch misty copeland dance to the heavenly sounds of cynthia erivo's voice
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What do we want? clickbait when do we want it? the answer will shock you.
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Texas raids planned parenthood offices across the state
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Why do they call a wolf a wolf? because it goes wolf!
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Dick cheney: iran deal will lead to first use of nuclear weapon since hiroshima and nagasaki
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Why do vegetarians give good head? because they are used to eating nuts!
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Jennifer aniston style evolution: this hollywood actress always looks effortlessly chic (photos)
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Digital identities: who are you when you're online?
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Dogs are just vacuums that want to be rewarded
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Ncaa pulls all championship events from north carolina over anti-lgbt laws
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Whats the difference between dawn and dusk? d(sun)/dt *facepalm* i'll see myself out.
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What do you call it when you get stuck into a shotgun wedding with a czech? checkmate!
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Women's history month artists: celebrating whm with marlene dumas as the eight of hearts
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Girl catches 5-pound bass with barbie fishing pole in adorable father-daughter adventure
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What's hard and pink? a pig with a flick knife.
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What do tampons and white women have in common? they are both stuck up cunts.
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60 years after brown v. board, america's school boards call for vigilance
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What do people who don't like the slippery slope argument call it? the slippery slope fallacy
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Disneyland travel: 14 official and unofficial streets inside disneyland (photos)
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Why was the fruit/vegetable hybrid upset? he was a melon-cauliflower.
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What do you call a racist 19th century artist? oppressionist
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If attacked by a pack of clowns.... go for the juggler.
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How much do pirates pay for earrings? about a buck an ear.
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Civilian death toll mounts as iraqi forces push on in mosul
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A step by step to vacationing in the mountains
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4 steps to add joy to your life
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5 hotel steals: columbus day weekend & beyond
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Lanvin summer 2012 ad: we hope you like snakes (video)
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What's a pirate's favorite sexual partner? can't legally consent because they're retarrrrrrrrded.
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I knew you'd come crawling back the minute i stole your wheelchair
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How to fix 4 common gardening problems using technology
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A black man walks into a bar. the bartender says get out!
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Potential pick for solicitor general removes name from consideration
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What did the stoplight say to the car? don't look, i'm changing!
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An invitation to do something about the environment
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Trevor noah: trump's first week proves he's a bad businessman
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Leader of oakland artist collective sparks outrage for focusing on himself after deadly fire
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