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Why does my van have windows? i want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.
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Ever hear about the shampoo shortage in jamaica? it was dreadful.
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Young woman confronts her father who she says 'ruined her childhood and adolescence'
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How does a cow do math? with a cowculator!
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15 celebrities on what it’s like to have a miscarriage
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Name one thing taylor swift doesn't have in her purse her boyfriend's phone number
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They say alcohol kills people. lets not forget how many people were born because of it.
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Why don't photons go to church on sunday? photons never have mass when at rest!
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Apple’s fall iphone event to be held sept. 9
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How to tell if a loved one has dementia
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Country living appraises late-19th-century fire-alarm indicator: what's it worth?
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Flying pigs will block trump tower for one glorious day this summer
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How good are you at powerpoint? i excel at it!
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There's no business like crow business. -wealthy businesscrow
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A fragrant tour of nyc at sniffapalooza spring fling 2013
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The window of m&a opportunity for transformative deals remains open
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Whats the difference between 3 big black cocks and a joke? your mum can't take a joke
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Artist re-creates death row inmates' last meals in 'no seconds' (photos)
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Comedian and lgbt advocate dave rubin brings 'the rubin report' to ora tv
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More evidence sleep deprivation is bad for the brain
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How do you request another mormon wife? brigham young
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Journalism school backlash against media giant sinclair grows
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Hawaii senator: donald trump win 'makes my stomach churn'
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Never ever... never trust a midget that tells you your wife's hair smells nice.
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This guy clicking his pen in starbucks just got stabbed when i stabbed him.
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What did moses say when isaiah told him the levy had burst? god dam it!
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You're not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone.
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What does the dentist of the year get? a little plaque.
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Dayton air show: wing walker plane crash reported, 2 dead
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Amish rite of spring is just plain dirty (photos)
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6 things i've decided to stop stressing about
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Donald trump flat out lies about his reaction to charlottesville
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Haunting sculpture offers a surreal glimpse at the future of climate change
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Why do italian men grow moustaches? they want to look like their mothers.
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Can a guy with no eyebrows look surprised?
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The only dates i get are the system software updates to my xbox. play station. pc. phone...
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Watch mickey mouse surprise kids with news about their adoption
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How do the jedi imprison siths? with force-fields
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Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet.
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Adulthood: if i do the thing i like, i'll be too tired to do the thing i hate.
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I signed up for the do not list list, but was immediately removed as i had requested.
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Q: what job function does a blonde have in an m&m factory? a: proofreading.
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Gorilla mom is so proud of her perfect newborn twins
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Karmin teams up with coach and rachel zoe for groovy 'sleigh ride' music video
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What do you call a greek stripper? popalottapus
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New york public library's fancy new 'book train' looks pretty magical
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How this muslim teacher in berlin is fighting anti-semitism
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What does person with alzheimer's call what are you wearing today? what am i wearing today
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Q: how do you make an idiot think he's a duck? a: tell him he's a duck.
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Why did miss idaho sierra sandison wear her insulin pump during competition?
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Republican leaders map a strategy to derail donald trump
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Boy with autism helps rescue dogs get socialized by reading to them
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I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
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Pbs suspends 'tavis smiley show' while it investigates host's alleged misconduct
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What's a moo hoo for a young calf? a new moo!
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If two gangsta vegetarians are arguing... is it still considered beef?
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Always wondered why female sentence fragments are so chill no period
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Thousands of muslims crowded into the streets of german cities this friday
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Kiernan shipka personally keeps up with her 'mad men' style in vanity fair
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Samuel l. jackson is live-tweeting the olympics, and it's just as awesome as it sounds
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What did the painter say to her boyfriend? i love you with all my art!
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Glamour magazine's first issue featured ann sheridan as the cover girl (photo)
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Will epa administrator pruitt tap polluter-friendly scientists for key advisory panel?
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Popeye was a lonely sailor no wonder why he had such big forearms.
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Donald trump tells rnc: reform rules or face 'rough' july convention
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Paramore's tribute to robin williams is a powerful message about hope
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What did 0 say to 8? nice belt, shithead.
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2016 candidates raise millions in shadow of super pacs
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How many ways can anne hathaway style her pixie cut?
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Lack of knowledge on long-term contraception is the real danger for women
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Man who allegedly shot nypd cop in face charged with attempted murder
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You must be a woman to present the sag awards this year
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Pastor outed in ashley madison hack commits suicide
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If you're asking me to choose sides, i'll always choose potato salad.
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Scary but true: statistics show that everyone who's ever used a cell phone will die
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Bill to regulate e-cigarettes clears california legislative hurdle
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Sugary drinks linked to over 180,000 deaths worldwide
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On the money! a female face on the ten dollar bill
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Kind kids are happier and more popular (study)
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Queer creative team behind feature film 'nova' discusses why we have to tell our own stories
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It took me years to read eli wiesel's night
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This is what happens 'when mama isn't home'
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Two coasts, one problem: in florida, gop leaders think voters are stupid
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House democrats show solidarity with 'day without a woman' strike
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Iran can reform if it follows in china’s footsteps
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Do you know the worst part about drinking bleach? it never gets pass the noose.
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Met a transexual lesbian at the bar he was a pretty normal guy.
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Her: make me a burrito, please. me: ?? *wraps her in blanket *pours hot sauce inside
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Donald trump continues to favor fox news over all other networks
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Seminar topic at the annual vampire conference how to deal with stakeholders
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A termite walks into a bar and asks is the bartender here? is the bar tender here?
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Overcoming a dominant thought, situation, behavior or pattern
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Gop vows obamacare repeal to start 2017. dems dare them.
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Patton oswalt jfl keynote 'letters to both sides' explains how comedy has changed
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Me: hey, do you want to go buy some- wife: yes!
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Love' is picking up tampons at the supermarket for your girlfriend. true love' is inserting them.
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Year of the monkey poster is this year's nastiest design fail (nsfw)
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Over 50% of lgbtq youths struggle with eating disorders, survey finds
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Wells fargo doesn't want you to know its scandal isn't hurting profits
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Virginia wesleyan college demands rape victim's entire sexual history
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