CHORUS: Maybe I could eat blades of grass.
DAMIEN: Hi, Im Damien Maymdien.
I know what youre probably thinking, and Ive heard it a hundred times.
People come up to me and they say,
Damien, why is everything so dumb and stupid?
Well, thats a great question, and Ill answer it for you.
First, lets plant some trees.
Okay, what was your question? Oh yeah. The world is stupid.
Right. Okay.
Well, have you ever found love? Have you ever been in love?
CHORUS : I have, its pretty wonderful.
DAMIEN: Have you ever flown a bird or been flown by a bird?
Have you ever--
Wait, no. Lets skip that one.
Have you ever carried a dozen bricks down a brick road through a brick door and into a brick house?
CHORUS: Yes, Ive done that!
DAMIEN: Okay, good, good. Just taking some notes here.
Are you a lamb?
AUDIENCE: No.
DAMIEN: Are you a lamp?
AUDIENCE: Sure!
DAMIEN: Ah, check that one off. Have you ever been--
What does that say?
Have you ever been betrayed, abandoned, or otherwise made an incoherent fool out of?
CHORUS: Yep, sure, thats me. Thats me.
And I hope that you believe me.
Believability Bob beeps as he calculates his believability.
DAMIEN: Heres a rock, with a plaid shirt. Thats stupid. Everything is stupid.